


To Have Worth

by darkroses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha John, Dark Dean, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Forced turning alpha to omega, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sam, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Sam, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Omega Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 09:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4955074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroses/pseuds/darkroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean claims Sam from a young age to be his omega. Sam wasn't sure how he felt about that. His feelings changed with time. All he wanted was to be worth something. No matter what Sam offered, he could never have what he was searching for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Have Worth

Sam was eight when he found out his family wasn’t human. They were a type of werewolf. The manner in which Sam found out was rather traumatizing. He was asleep and he woke up to Dean looking crazy. His brother tied Sam’s hands above his head and ripped off his shirt. Sam had no idea what was going on. He got to watch Dean jerk off on him and spread his come all over his chest. It was disgusting.

The crazy Dean went on for a day and a half until their father came home. Their dad was less than pleased but he did untie him, give him water, and bandaged up his wrists. That was when they had the talk about alphas, betas, and omegas. Omegas were practically non-existent. An omega could only be created through turning an unpresented alpha. This was done by having come spread on the skin, drinking it, and putting it up his butt.

Because of the age at which this happened, most omegas were considered to be victims of sexual assault or bad touching as his dad called it back then. Dean bad touched him and their dad explained there was a chance he would be an omega. Uncle Bobby was fairly certain if it. So from the age of eight, Sam spent his time preparing to be an omega.

He found out that omegas rarely left the house. They were naturally submissive to whoever turned them and they would fight against any other alpha. Basically, biology made it so Sam and any other omega would have to stay with their abuser for life. Only Sam didn’t feel like Dean abused him. He felt like Dean took care of him.

When Sam was eleven, he asked to be able to drink Dean’s come. His father paled and shook his head but he later agreed on one condition. Dean had to put it in a cup for Sam to drink and he couldn’t jerk off in front of him. Sam was fine with that arrangement. So every day, once in the morning and once in the evening, Dean would exit the bathroom with a little white cup of come for him to drink. Sam would drink it happily.

Nothing more happened for years, in fact, Sam was starting to wonder if he was a beta. Then on the eve of his sixteenth birthday, Sam presented as an omega. Dean was there as was his father. Sam remembered yelling at his father and Dean ordering him into silence. So Sam was silent until Dean leads him to another motel room and told him to strip. The first words out of Dean’s mouth were, “So this is what a bitch looks like.”

Sam immediately felt repulsed. He gave up his alpha status for Dean. Not that he had much choice in the matter after what happened when he was eight but still. This was not how he expected Dean to react and he expected a compliment about his body, not a gender slur. Sam wrapped his arms around himself so he could somehow hide his altered body. He flinched when Dean touched his shoulder. He said weakly, “Don’t.”

He felt Dean’s hand go to his hair and grab hold. Dean yanked his head back and growled. “You’re a bitch. You wanted to be touched by me. So take it like a good bitch.”

From a lack of knowing what else to do, Sam nodded weakly. His voice was quiet, “Sorry, Alpha.” Dean smiled and threw Sam down on the bed. Sam started crying because he thought Dean actually loved him and cherished him. He was wrong. He was so very wrong.

He felt Dean maneuver his body into the position.  Sam buried his head in his arms and cried. He heard Dean unzip his pants and Sam bit his own arm so Dean wouldn’t hear his sobs. Dean slammed into him with no prep. Sam bit down on his arm so hard he tasted blood. Then he heard his own screams that were muffled by Dean’s hand over his mouth. It hurt.

Sam had read about mating with an omega. It was supposed to be pleasurable. The omega would have slick and the alpha would stretch the omega open until the omega could take the knot. Then the alpha would slowly rock into the omega whispering praise. An omega was supposed to be treasured because of their sacrifice. Dean apparently missed that memo.

Soon enough, Dean was tied to him. Sam threw up on the sheets below him as he felt Dean deposit his load inside of him. Sam didn’t even try to hide his sobs anymore. He didn’t know what else to do. Dean moved him so they were laying on their sides. Sam’s bleeding arm from the bite was still in the vomit that Dean gently pulled away. He felt Dean kiss the side of his face and Sam felt more bile make its way up his throat.

Dean’s voice was gentle now. All trace of the asshole occupying Dean’s body a few minutes ago was gone. “Hey, what’s wrong? I thought you wanted to be an omega. What is with the tears?”

Sam sobbed and tried to pull away but Dean just held him close to his chest. Dean was still mostly dressed and Sam felt vulnerable. He felt like he had been raped. He felt like something was taken from him that wasn’t offered. It was sort of like when he was eight. Dean took without asking. Sam didn’t know why he expected this to be any different.

Sam whispered, “I thought you loved me. I was wrong.”

++

After that day, Dean either called him Sammy or bitch. Sam decided that Dean was a jerk, but he never told Dean that. He just obeyed his alpha like his body told him and he hated himself a little more each time. Sometimes, Dean would slap him around in front of their father or tell him to strip. Sam wanted to tell him where to shove it, but he couldn’t get the words to leave his mouth.

It wasn’t until Sam was seventeen when Dean actually beat him for the first time. Sam’s crime? He did his homework and didn’t do the research for the hunt first. Sam got used to it after that. A few cuts, a bleeding nose, bruises and sometimes a couple cracked ribs were nothing out of the ordinary for Sam. It was what happened after the beating that was the worst. It was when Dean would pin his down and knot him while calling him all sort of names.

Sam didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He didn’t have access to much but Dean allowed nail polish to paint his toenails. Dean thought it made Sam look pretty which Sam could honestly care less about. Sam would sit in the bathroom for hours and sniff the nail polish to get high. It wasn’t a great buzz but it made his head feel a little fuzzy. It was usually enough for him to go to sleep. He slept in the bathtubs most nights these days. No one ever cared enough to say anything. Sam just felt safer there and he could open the window in the bathroom to air out the fumes from the nail polish.

This went on until Sam turned eighteen. Sam was curled up in the corner of the room. Dean had broken one of his fingernails during a beating and Sam was trying to pull it off. It hurt but it gave him something to focus on. Sam looked up when his dad sat down on the floor next to him and took his hand. Sam watched silently as his father cleaned up his finger and in one easy pull took the damaged nail off. He let a couple tears fall but at least it was done.

His dad’s voice was sad, “I want you to leave Sammy.” John handed Sam an envelope. Sam took it and opened it. Inside was an acceptance letter to Stanford with a new name, Sam Wesson. John sounded uncertain, “Bobby is going to meet you at the bus station and take you. I will keep Dean busy on hunts so he can’t.. hurt you anymore. Bobby will make sure you have everything you need. I’m sorry, Sammy. I thought Dean would treat you right. I never..” John shook his head. “I never expected him to treat you like he has.”

++

Dean lost his mate at twenty-two. He met his dad in the woods after a night with a beta chick. Sometimes, Dean craved to be gentler than what he could be with Sammy. Dean drove up just in time to see his dad light a wrapped body on fire. Dean scanned the area for Sammy but he didn’t see his brother, his mate. He could smell Sam, though. He could smell Sam in the scent of the burned flesh. It was sweet like an omega and it smelled like home. It was Sammy that was on fire. Dean knew with every fiber of his being that was Sammy.

Dean walked up to the fire and asked quietly, “How?”

John turned away from the fire and shook his head. There were tears in his eyes. His dad sounded weak but there was something not quite truthful about his father’s words. “I found Sammy in the bathroom after you punished him. I couldn’t stop him in time. He had one of your guns. He said he didn’t want to live like this anymore and he pulled the trigger. He’s at peace now, Dean.”

Dean frowned and looked at the fire. He turned his back to the fire because he couldn’t watch that. He stared at the sky and said quietly, “He belonged to me and he left me.”

++

At twenty-six, Dean found out his father lied to him. Sam was alive. He went to California to find his brother. It wasn’t hard. Sam looked better. He looked healthier. Dean broke into Sam’s apartment one night and crept over to his brother’s bed. He put a hand over Sam’s mouth and waited. Sam woke up with wide eyes and tried to scramble away from him.

Dean chuckled and let Sam go. He sat down on the edge of Sam’s bed and asked as nicely as he could. “Can you explain to me, why you’re living under an assumed name and why Dad faked your death?”

Sam looked around the room and pulled his legs up to his chest. Dean realized he wasn’t looking at a grown man in that moment. He realized he was looking at a scared eight-year-old boy that didn’t understand what was happening. A scared eleven-year-old boy that just wanted to prove his worth. A scared sixteen-year-old boy that just wanted to be loved. A scared seventeen-year-old boy that just wanted to know what he did wrong. Dean couldn’t bring himself to expect an answer from Sam. He already knew the answer.

He took Sam from his home in California. Dean had an isolated cabin where he could nurture Sam back to him. He had Sam strip because he wanted Sam to get comfortable in his own skin like an omega should be. Sam cried but obeyed. He knotted Sam roughly to remind him of what he was. Dean was outside watching the sunset and Sam knelt at his feet. He was lightly brushing a hand through Sam’s hair. He didn’t miss the trembles in Sam’s body. He asked his brother, “Isn’t it nice that we are together and no one can keep us apart anymore?”

Sam’s body trembled under Dean’s fingertips. His brother tilted his head up and Dean saw Sam’s beautiful broken lip and swollen belly. Sam’s voice trembled as much as his body. “Yes, Alpha.”


End file.
